Come tomorrow we must change our clothes
by I'll Try To Fix You
Summary: Straight after S02E07. Will and Mac 3 M rating for future chapters. Just what I'd love to have happen afterwards :) enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Mac stared at her wine glass, seeing straight through it. She'd poured it for herself an hour ago and hadn't touched it since. Her phone vibrated on the kitchen bench behind her but even that didn't shake her from her reverie. How did they end up here? How did everything go so horribly wrong? A year ago she would have told you they were producing the best news on tv, the most honest, trustworthy news on air. Now it was in pieces. And despite everything Jerry was responsible for, Mac knew she was at fault too. She felt numb. The minute Will had signed off she walked out of the control room, gave a quick speech to the sombre yet still shocked team, grabbed her things and left. How did they end up here? It was as though everything had spun out of control taking all of News Night with it. And yet it had been spinning for more than 7 months. Yet she'd been blind to the inevitable calamity until now. Tears rolled silently down her cheek, as she realised she had no energy left for anger, outrage or blame. She was exhausted, in every way. She had nothing left to give...

Another loud sound of her blackberry vibrating against granite finally got her attention. She carefully stood up and tip toed to the sound, she no longer trusted anything to be solid. She looked at the list of missed calls. 6 from Will, 2 from Jim, 1 from Sloan and 1 from Neal. She opened the first text message from Will. 'You left quickly. Can't blame you. But I do want to talk to you'

'Answer your phone Mac. This things fucked up and besides Charlie who's at the bottom of a bottle, you're the only one who gets it'

'MAC. For gods sake just let me know you're okay. I don't kind what else to say...'

'Im coming over'

Mac froze as she read the last message. She hadn't been meaning to worry anyone. She'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts and assumed the rest of the team would be too. She typed a reassuring message about her being okay, just tired and going to bed, and sent it to Neal, Sloan and Jim. She also sent a message to Charlie asking him to call her tomorrow. She'd mentally procrastinated as much as she could and now the fact Will was on his way over here hit her with full force. It's not that she didnt want his company. She loved spending time with him more than anything else. Hell she'd take him, throwing a famous MacAvoy rant at her, over any other company. Just not tonight. Tonight she needed to think through everything that had happened and mourn the loss of her tv 'baby'. And she needed to do it alone because it was painful and emotional and Will would try and comfort her, which would just make everything hurt more. Her blackberry buzzed once again, she looked down and saw the caller ID she'd expected.

- Will

- finally Mac. What have you been doing? You worried me.

His voice was sharp and annoyed, but she knew it well enough to hear the relief at the sound of her voice.

- I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to. I've just been... Trying...just trying to get my head around everything. I'm sorry Will.

Her voice trembled, just slightly, at how much she felt whenever she said sorry to him. Because she was so sorry. And not just for worrying him, for everything. For ruining there future, for breaking his heart, for taking away the one person and constant he'd ever loved and trusted. Her voice only trembled a little. But, even just that tiny quiver, Will was able to notice.

- Mac? Can you let me up?

Once he walked into her apartment, he noticed all the little things that didnt fit. For one she had wine and Jamison out on her coffee table. And Mac never mixed drinks unless she was in a serious state of needing to drink. It didn't surprise him, everyone who worked on News Night could be forgiven for wanting to mix moonshine with grappa tonight. It was the tissues next to the wine, the unopened laptop bag and Camelot playing quietly in the background. It was as though he'd walked into Mackenzie's own private wake for News Night. It sent pain through every nerve in his body. Had she completely given up? What had happened was fucked up and destroyed a lot of trust they had in the business they worked in, along with themselves. But it hasn't killed it. All was not lost! They would ride this disaster out, and as messy as it got they would get through it and start cleaning up. God, he thought to himself, I sound pathetically in love with this show and what we're trying to do. Damn you Mackenzie and your contagious idealism, optimism and drive.

And yet here that woman was before him. Completely broken by this failure.

- I'm sorry I worried you. I'm really fine I just didnt check my phone and I was just going to watch a movie and go to bed -

- you're not fine. And look you don't have to be. I'm not fine. Charlie's not fine. Jim, Sloan, Don, Neal, Maggie, they're not fine. No ones fine. But hey, maybe we're not meant to be fine right now. I mean, if we were all okay it would mean we didnt care. We didnt care if did the news right or not. And we do. We all do. So we can be 'not fine' right now. And that's fine. We can pack disappointment, we can stack hate and hurt, we can even wear our pain. But come tomorrow, we must change our clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the review. First time publishing :) I don't own any of the newsroom. Also, I've been having Internet problems so apologies for any messiness.

They'd ended up sitting next to each other on the couch. The same bottle of red from earlier, nearly empty on the coffee table in front of them.

- I should have caught it. I mean I've been producing news for nearly 20 years. Something this big, something this internationally huge! I know how these things should work. I should have caught it.

- Hey Mac, we went through that story with a fine tooth comb. All of us. Over and over and over. None of us caught it. It was that tiny of a give away. Besides, I'm the sports fan, if anyone should have caught it, it should have been me.

- and what about the interview with Venezuela, Will? I led him.

- you didn't lead him. Yes you may have given away some pieces of the puzzle. But he told us he knew. Sweeney told us he knew. It was our assumption that we were just confirming our knowledge with his.

She was silent for a moment, then in a voice so quiet Will could barely hear it she whispered

- you said you trusted me...

Will froze. He wasn't sure exactly where she was going with this but he had an idea.

- you said you trusted me. I've imagined you saying those words a thousand times, a thousand different ways. I just never imagined once you did again, you'd be wrong.. I let you down.

She looked down and wouldn't meet his eyes. Disappointment and shame etched into her fine, pale features.

- Mac... It's not like that. You didn't let me down. Jerry let us down, Charlie's source let us down. I trusted the story myself as much as I trusted you.

He paused. And took a deep breath. After everything he still hated seeing her hurt. His first instinct was always to do it to. But this time, this time he'd just be honest.

- I trust you as my executive producer the exact same way I did 6 months ago or a week ago. Nothing's changed... And.. And I trust you as you Mac, just the same too. I trust you. I just, I just trust you.

She stared at him, her large eyes wide and searching. Searching for something beyond those words. Meaning perhaps. After a few seconds she looked away again. He trusted her? She knew the enormity of those words. And they left her with a bittersweet feeling. It was more than she deserved and at times more than she dared hope for. And yet still, no where near enough.

- in so many ways. I'm so proud of them Will. Of everyone in that bullpen. Besides the colossal mistake that Genoa was. And all the consequences we have yet to face. I'm so proud of them. This team we have its, it's extraordinary. God, Jim was made to produce the news, he has an instinct that's far superior to mine. And Neal, Don and Sloan, they embody everything it means to be loyal to the person they trust over even the most overwhelming evidence to the contrary. God all of them. As disappointed and ashamed as I am of everything that's happened. I can't help but feel prouder of them right now than ever before.

- I know what you mean. They stayed after the retraction tonight. They stayed and kept researching and making calls and putting together stories. We haven't even had 8 hours since we retracted Genoa, and already. They're determined to never have to go through that again. They're a credit to you Mac, they really are.

- hey, not just me Will, they look up to you. When you talk, they all listen.

Will chuckled. But internally he felt a spark of happiness at the comment.

- it's late Mac. You should sleep. You look like hell.

- Gee, thanks Will.

Her voice was sarcastic and blunt but she smiled afterwards and try both laughed. She rubbed her eyes with her palms.

- Eugh god I don't think I'll be able to sleep. I'm so wired. Just extremely alert.

- Well I'd say smoking pot helps but I'd never advocate for the use of illegal drugs

- Yes that and the fact that when one does use said substances, the chances of sending a voicemail, you then refuse to repeat, increases tenfold!

She'd said it playfully, trying to maintain the lightness of the mood that was keeping her head above the water that thinking about Genoa was. But Will looked away and didnt respond or smile. She hadn't mentioned the message since he gave her the speech about not denting her fender and sleeping with Brian and the emails she'd sent. He finally turned back to her and gave a weak, half hearted smile

- Yeah, that too.

Mac didnt say anything. And Will knew her well enough to know that when you've silenced Mac, you've done something serious. She looked regretful of her joke and genuinely confused.

- anyway. I should probably head home. It's nearly 2 am... Are you alright?

- yes don't be silly Will, I'm fine really. We'll face everything tomorrow and start fixing things. You're right it's late, I'm sorry I kept you here so long

- Don't be Mac. You're my EP when you have a problem, I have a problem.

Fuck. He thought, the minute he heard the door close behind him. 'You're my EP' could he be more full of shit if he tried? I mean yes, he thought. She was his EP. But she was so much more than that and he knew it. And why the fuck didnt he take that opportunity to talk about the message?! Since the last time she mentioned it, the bubble of hope that appeared in his stomach when he found out she hadn't rejected him, had slowly been deflating. Why wasnt she asking him anymore? Surely she had her suspicions, so why drop it? And why when she FINALLY brings it up again, do all his words desert him?

- fuck!

He hasn't realised he spoke aloud until the couple walking past him startled and hurriedly, walked faster away. Get it together, he thought to himself.

As he slowly walked towards Hudson st, needing the walk to clear his head, all he could think of was her confusion when he went silent. Wasnt she used to him refusing to talk about it? I mean sure, he regretted not telling her, but why was she so surprised. Being a man that prided himself on rarely being unable to understand things, he pushed the train of thought out of his mind. And an even more troubling one took its place. In the form of the woman who really, caused all this voicemail drama. Nina Howard. Will hated the fact he could no longer hate her. Sure, she'd messed with him regarding her views on viewers and the idea to go on ACN morning was probably one of the worst. But Will had agreed so he couldn't blame her entirely. But Mac still didnt know. And before he could announce the contents of the message and how it still rang true, she needed to know that. He felt his phone vibrate and reached from his pocket, he spotted a side walk bench and sat down at it before clicking the message.

- we should keep an eye on Charlie. I'm worried about him too... Hope you're not asleep. Mac.

Of course he wasnt asleep, he thought, he wasnt even home.

- yeah I know, me too. I'll drop into his tomorrow. Make sure he's coping. And I'm sorry for the last part of tonight. Old habits..

He clicked send. And the part of him that knew how much the Nina revalation would kill her, broke inside him. His phone buzzed in response.

- don't worry about it, really it doesn't matter anymore. Also, I forget to say tonight, besides how horrible it was to have to retract Genoa, you were spectacular..

Fuck. It was definitely her fourth glass of wine that wrote that response. Fuck. She hadn't meant to send it. If she was totally honest she'd typed it with a drunken, depressed laugh. How disappointing it was to find out the message you hoped and prayed involved a declaration of some kind of feeling for her, just praised her performance. She, unsteadily, got up from the couch and walked towards the bedroom. As she curled under her sheets, she felt hot tears well in her eyes. She missed him. It was like phantom limb. Because she could feel him there and yet he wasn't. Not even close. He was across town in the apartment she'd once imagined raising her children in. Children that would have his eyes and her smile. In the bedroom where she had finally learnt what it meant to make love to someone. Or on the couch where all those dreams had been destroyed. Where she'd broken his heart. Where she saw his eyes die when she told him about Brian... She quietly sobbed into her pillow, remembering all the moments she'd had with Will. She'd been so used to him, his voice and his words, so many easy words between them, that at times she'd been guilty of letting her mind wander when he spoke, of tuning out the excess. She hadn't known at the time, she should have been hoarding them, like sea shells in a winter coat. To remind her, that once, it had been summer.


	3. Chapter 3

thanks again for the reviews. Posting my first story was scary so it really make me feel comfortable. I'm typing this on my phone so apologies for any awkward auto correct I didn't pick up on :/ enjoy!

I don't own any of The Newsroom.

chapter 3

Will hadn't looked at his phone since he first read her message. He'd jumped in the first cab he saw, threw a $50 bill at the driver and snapped his address. He knew he'd need a scotch to go over this is his head.

Once seated on his balcony with a scotch in one hand and a cigarette between his lips, he opened the message again. Spectacular. Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe she'd used that word with no reason besides her own desire to. Maybe. Then why couldn't he shake this feeling of foreboding? Why did, when he read it with the double meaning he couldn't help but see, did it not sound like a good thing? Like there was something hidden beneath that knowledge. He finished the glass of scotch, refilled it, and took a long drag of his cigarette. He needed to tell her. All of it. The ring, the message, Nina. And after that. No matter how angry she was. He needed to tell her what he should have months ago, what he tried to tell her in that message, but this time he'd be saying it to her face.

Mac woke with a headache and a dry mouth. It took all of 3 seconds for everything that had happened yesterday to flood back. She groaned to herself and buried her head deeper into the pillow. The immediate shock of genoa had sunk in over the night. And been replaced by Mackenzie's steely resolve that had never let her career and those who worked for her, fail. This had to be fixed. She had the most talented team in television. And no matter how long it took, they would rebuild News Night. They had producers, desk editors, bookers, everyone who made the program work, completely dedicated. And a news anchor who was born to inform this great nation. God, their anchor... With that thought she remembered her last message. She leant across and fumbled for her phone. Nothing from Will. Jim and Neal had replied, glad to hear she was home and okay last night. She opened a message from Sloan, inviting her to breakfast before work. She replied quickly that she'd meet her at their usual place in 45 minutes. She could do with a distraction. And despite the fact she'd never had close female friends, Mac loved the economist like a sister. And when the world fails you, and you broke the love of your life's heart into so many pieces you feel like you could never put them back together. Sometimes your sister, is the one person you need.

Mac pushed open the cafe door to see Sloan already seated. She gave her a nod of recognition and walked towards her.

- Morning Kenzie, did you sleep as horribly as I did?

- ha yes probably. I imagine everyone on that floor did, plus Charlie oh and probably Leona and Reese, but I'm yet to hear from them...

- Will was looking for you. Pretty determinedly actually.

Mackenzie didn't reply, she took a sip of the coffee Sloan had ordered for her before she arrived.

- okay Kenzie, you're wearing that look

- please don't tell me I've worn the 'my news show aired a completely incorrect story regarding chemical weapons and now god knows what will happen to my career and all those who work with me' look before!

The lack of sleep combined with a hangover had definitely made Mackenzie reach the point of raised voice and hand gestures faster than usual. She swallowed the moment and tried to smile at the woman sitting across from her.

- No, not quite. You're wearing the look you only wear when something has happened with will. So what happened with Will Mackenzie?

Her eyes bore hers and Mac had to look away to try and hold tears, that seemed always ready to fall lately, back.

- Nothing. That's the crazy part. I'm mean crazier than the usual crazy. Nothing happened. He came over last night and we talked about the story. I mean, there was underlying thoughts going on, as usual but nothing was said.

- But like you said that's usual. You and Will are like a badly subbed foreign film. What's going on between you, has nothing to do with subtitles flowing underneath. So why is this time different?

- Because its never changing. We'll always be stuck how we are. Me in love with him and him loving me as his friend but nothing else. And it hurts. Everytime I sew one hurt, one new pain reminding me that he doesn't love me the way I love him, shut, another one bursts open. And at one point I'll have to accept that this life I'm now wearing without that love, will never really fit.

- okay, you know I'm not good at this stuff so I just going to go right out and say it. You're insane.

Mac couldn't help but let out a laugh, even through the few tears that had managed to escape despite her best efforts. Sometimes she marveled at this woman, the most eloquent, intelligent woman she'd ever known and yet any level of emotion or tact was harder for her to grasp than a four year old trying to understand economics.

- Mac, I love you. And for that reason you should know I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't know it to be true. Will would walk through fire for you. You're the last person he thinks of when he goes to sleep and the first person he thinks of when he wakes up. The person he wants to go to bed with, wake up with and do everything in between with. And yes, he's god awful at showing, admitting, explaining and acknowledging that but God, Mackenzie MacHale if you forget that I promise, despite you being my best friend, I'll never forgive you.

Mac blinked at her. Rarely did Sloan get this worked up about anything that wasn't the Dow or football. Sloan took in her bosses surprise and slight confusion at the passion of her words.

- Mac we need this. I need this. I need a sign. That people can have that person. That one person that they're meant to be with. That they can find them and have them and make it work despite everything, everyday that tells us to quit. And I'm not making this about me, because I know you want this too, but man it would be nice for good to win out, just once.

- I'm trying Sloan, I promise you I'm trying to hold onto that too. And the only thing that keeps me holding onto it, is the hope that one day, him and I will have another chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again for reviews :) I don't own any of the Newsroom.

chapter 4.

Will woke up to the sun streaming through the glass walls of his apartment. And to the image of Mackenzie, tears on her cheeks..Slowly he got up, before his eyes had even fully opened he was turning on the coffee machine. Despite the fact he hadn't slept till after 3, and that he didn't start work until 11, as usual he was up at 7am. He picked up the paper and the second he saw the headline, threw it across the room. He heard the shatter of an empty picture frame as it hit the ground.

'The Media Elite, shamed and disgraced'

Despite knowing if it has been any other network they would have reported the massive fuck up, his hatred for print journalism intensified. He began picking up the frame from the floor and, carefully, the larger pieces of glass. He looked at the picture in the frame. It was one of the regular stock photos that frames come with. Before you place over it, a moment from your life you never wanted to forget. He'd never filled it. Suddenly he was aware of the sadness of that. He'd had nothing to display since she left. When he'd been with Mac they'd always framed their favorite photos. But all of those frames were stuffed in the storage locker he rented. He'd never been able to throw them out completely. He finished cleaning the glass and placed, the now glassless, frame back on the shelf. For a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on, he didnt want to throw it out. Maybe it could be fixed? It was broken. But maybe not beyond repair.

After finishing the coffee he'd poured and checking for breaking news, he headed onto his balcony for his morning cigarette. The New York peak hour traffic buzzed below and he thought Mac was most likely, currently in a cab on the way to work. She was always the first to arrive at ACN. She told him years ago it wasn't just her workaholic nature that dictated that. There was something about an empty newsroom that she loved. The silence before the anarchy. He missed her. So much. Even though everything was messy and painful and unknown, that much he knew. He missed her and he loved her. And he hated that the only time he's able to admit that fully is when he's alone. Or high, he thought, with an exasperated sigh. Tired of letting his mind turn when none of the problems could be fixed by sitting here and smoking, he made his way inside to dress for work and head in early.

He was right. Mac was already in her office when he walked into the bullpen, he watched her twirl a pen between her fingers as she looked at whatever she was reading. She was that kind of beautiful you couldn't imitate. He saw Sloan wave at him from on the upper tier and she gave him the 'don't you walk anywhere before you come here' look. He figured if he ignored she'd follow him, the woman was a pitbull when she wanted to be. Be in about Mac, drones, or trying to get him to convince Mac to give her a few more minutes in the rundown, once Sloan Sabbith had you in her sights you couldn't escape. He headed towards her office wondering which one it was today.

- morning Sloan. You're here early.

- I had breakfast with Mac. She wasn't in the best mood she's ever been in I'll tell you that.

- is anyone here Sloan? Our shows in ruins.

- yeah I didn't mean about that Will.

Will didn't answer right away. He hated his private life being a topic at work. And since Mac returned it had been, much more than is normal in any work place. Crazy and public and messy. All the things you expect when Mackenzie MacHale is your EP.

- I'm going to pretend we're not having another one of those moments where you try to pull information out of me. I'll ask about your report for the day, you'll ask if I watched the game. You'll probably throw in a loosely veiled personal comment. But all in all we'll leave this conversation the way we normally do. With me saying nothing and you learning nothing. Can't we just skip to that?

- Okay as bruised as my ego is now I realise how predictable my interrogations tactics are, no we can't.

- I'm walking out this door Sloan, I'll see you later.

Will turned and headed out the door, he had to give the woman credit for her commitment.

- You're going to loose her one day big brother.

Will paused and turned to stare at her.

- She loves you. I'm probably not supposed to tell you that. But it's true so I guess maybe she can't hate me for it. But she does. And she's waiting. Everyday. Everyday you brought another date here. Everyday you punished her. Everyday Brian was here. Just, just everyday she's here loving you. But she's human Will. And there's only so long you can punish someone until... they stop being the person that you love anymore. So if I'm wrong. And you don't love her. Let her go.

Will had no response. Her words had sliced straight through him. Through the bravado, through the walls and straight into his core.

- You know I love you Sloan. You're my family.

With that he turned and walked straight down the stairs, nearly knocking over Don, who was heading towards the office he'd just left. She'd stop being who is she? She'd have taken that much bull shit from him it would kill the fire that was Mac? Were his punishments really that horrible? He didn't even need to answer that. He looked towards the woman he loves office. Suddenly he was too ashamed to go in there. Luckily he was given a reprieve from his guilt in the form of Neal.

- Hey Will, I just ran into Charlie and he wants you in his office when you're free.

- did he say what about?

- no, sorry. But he had a new bow tie on so maybe it can't be all bad.

Will gave Neal a small smile and put his hand on his back.

- thanks Sampat.

Mac rushed to work after leaving Sloan after breakfast. The economist was going to speak to someone about the recent... Well someone about economics. As usual she was the first to arrive. She headed to her office and knew, before she looked to confirm, that Wills office would be empty. As she sat back into her chair she listened to the steady hum of her computer as it turned on. She'd said too much to Sloan at breakfast, and as much as she loved the woman. She wasn't known for her ability to keep those things to herself. Sooner or later she was going to say something to Will. As it did multiple times a day, the fantasy of Will's moment of clarity danced in Mackenzie's head. Will realizing he's as unable to live without her as she is without him. She wasn't under any illusions that it would be easy to fix and try again. But god she wished the man wanted that fight as much as she did. Suddenly her landline phone rang.

'Morning Mac, can you come up to my office?'


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for reviews :) I dont women any of the Newsroom.

chapter 5

The office door pushed open and Will turned to see Mac entering. There eyes met and for just one second they both realised how much had gone unsaid last night. Amongst Genoa and the retraction, the urgency of what they wanted was the most clear.

- Take a seat Mac, thanks for coming in. So. We retracted Genoa. We fired Jerry and we've all had a kick in the guts in the last 72 hours. But, we'll on back on the air tonight doing what we do. The best news program out there.

Both Will and Mac smiled slightly. Despite how much this mess had hurt Charlie personally, he had his time of anger and hurt and was up leading the team again.

- however, we need to make sure, that everyone knows. This still may not work out how we want it to. We may still get fired. News Night may still get cut and recreated with a new team, without this on their record. We need to make sure everyone knows that. And if they want, they can choose to leave now with full recommendations from all of us.

- No one will choose that Charlie I promise. That team out there won't quit over this.

- I know that Mac, but we need to give them the option...just in case.

Both Charlie and Mac looked at Will, waiting for any response...

- Some of them have kids, sole income families, huge student loans... Some of them can't afford to stay with a program that might not see the week out. We know they'll all want to stay. But we need to give the opt out option to those who simple can't take the risk anymore.

- I'll talk to them at the run down and I'll send an email out to everyone now.

Mac looked for approval from the two men in the room. Both nodded and she stood up and walked back out. On any other day Will may have made a snide remark regarding her email sending skills.

- I would ask if you two are okay but I really don't think you have been okay for 5 years.

- it's hard Charlie. It's not supposed to be this hard is it? Isn't love supposed to be easy?

- You've been watching too many musicals son. It's never easy. But all couples go through the same bull. But what keeps them together is that one person always stands up and fights. I know she made mistakes and I know she broke your heart. But she broke her own too and if you're honest, she been the only one fighting for you two for years.

- I know, I know. But every time I have the revelation of telling her, I get to the moment and just, loose the words.

- William Duncan MacAvoy, if you didn't already know she's the one for you then the fact she can render you speechless should tell you.

Will stood up. Two people he cared about telling him to take the chance at happiness he had in front of him, in the space of an hour was too much.

- I'm going to start writing my script. I listen Charlie. I've just gotta do this on my own.

- We don't get unlimited chances to have the things we want Will, if I've learnt anything from life it's that. And nothing will hurt more than missing an opportunity that would have made your life.

They managed to make it through to the evening without any disasters. The whole team was walking on eggshells. Even the usual yelling across the newsroom was lessened. Don took that as his call to yell louder than usual, but besides that everyone was still shell shocked and careful. Will had been in and out of meetings today so when Mac walked into the control room, she'd have been lying if she said there wasn't an ache in her chest, just to see him.

- Ready Billy?

He looked up at the familiar nickname only she had ever made him love.

- I'm ready Mac. I'm really ready.

Perhaps it was her desperate mind playing tricks on her. But she could have sworn he was looking straight into her when he answered, those blue eyes spoke more volumes than even someone as articulate as him could..

- Ummmm Mac, 10 seconds..

- Right shit. Will? On in 10.

- I'm Will MacAvoy, goodnight.

She breathed a sigh of relief when it was over. Despite loving the sound of Will's voice in her ear, and being able to watch his every movement, his mouth as it curled around words, his eyes as they moved from the guests screen to the viewers, she was also relieved the first broadcast post Genoa was over. Surely the first one would have been the hardest.

She saw Will pulled into a conversation with Don and Eliott so she headed back to get office to pack up for the day.

- great show Mac

- thanks Herb.

She really did love this team. The light in her office was still on when she arrived back. She slipped into her chair and her mind wandered across the day. Last night Will had turned up at her doorstep, they'd talked until he trusted she was okay enough to sleep, talked again through messages that had so much subtext and yet today she'd barely managed to see him. He'd been busy she knew but still it was, once again, anticlimactic. As though timed by greater forces, she heard her door open and that familiar pull at her heart that always meant, one man in particular was close.


	6. Chapter 6

Again I don't own any of the Newsroom :)

chapter 6

If he'd been honest with himself. He was nervous. He wasn't even really sure what to say.

- Hey, you finishing up for the night?

- yeah, just sending a few last minute emails and I'm done.

He hesitated. What if she said no? He felt the fear pool in his stomach.

- Do you want to get dinner with me? If I know you, you haven't eaten in hours and I'm starving anyway.

The words tumbled out so fast it took Mac a few extra seconds to figure out what he'd said.

- yes, yes I would love to get dinner. I'm going to drop soon if I don't eat. Can you give me a few minutes?

- yeah I still need to change anyway. Meet me at my office in 10?

- sounds good Billy, I'll be there.

Will walked back to his office, almost shaking with relief. Which became actual shaking when it took him three tries to take off his tie. They were having dinner. It wasn't everything. But it was a start. Although he'd been on countless dates and dinners with Mackenzie, even since she came back they'd occasionally have dinner together, pouring over the coming broadcasts stories, this was the first time he felt he was going to leave the dinner without wishing he'd said things differently. He paused as he remembered that the first thing he needed to tell her, was Nina. He needed to explain that it was his last hurdle before he could take that step forward to her again. To prove once and for all, that he'd never love another woman again. That all the hurt and betrayal was behind them. That Mackenzie MacHale was the women he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. After changing and packing his briefcase he began pacing his office. Realizing how ridiculous he would look if Mac walked in on him doing that, he took a seat back at his desk. He tried to find a casual looking position but all his limbs felt out of sorts and since when did leg placement in a chair become an issue for him?! Leaning back and taking a deep breath in he was finally starting to lower his heart rate when that irresistible English accent burst into the room.

- Okay I'm ready, did you have something in particular you felt like?

- maybe Italian?

Will knew Mac's affinity for Italian food and it was impossible to not enjoy watching her squeal in delight when eating. Like everything in her life Mac lived food intensely. And her eyes lit up at the suggestion.

- Yesssss. But could I possible impose one rule?

Will eyes her skeptically but slowly nodded.

- Can we please not talk about Genoa. If I think about it anymore I'll loose it.

- No, no I completely agree. Absolutely no Genoa talk.

- However, before that rule is enforced I wanted to tell you Neal, Maggie, Kendra, Jim, Don and Sloan have all emailed me already and told me they're not going anywhere. Actually both Sloan and Don called, Sloan out of outrage at the suggestions and Don I think was mostly to laugh at the idea!

Will watched her frown before smiling in relief that so many had responded so quickly.

- They love you Mac. You brought them all together.

- True, but I must admit I think a certain gruff anchor may have had a staring role too...

She said it casually and it was only when her eyes floated down to her hand did Will even realise he had reached out to hold it. Suddenly her skin felt like fire against his. Was it that innate? He hadn't even realised he'd moved. Yet now her small hand was inside his, and it was sending shock waves through out the rest of his body.

- We should go Billy, the restaurant won't stay open all night

- that and you get bossy when you're hungry.

She slipped her hand out of his and slapped him on the bicep.

- Pick up your briefcase lets go.

It never ceased to amaze Will how, even after all that had happened between them, conversation was never hard to come by with Mackenzie. They'd talked about what shows were playing, whether Mackenzie was an idiot for thinking she would consider buying a car in New York and the absurdity of how many sport channels Will recorded. Slowly but surely they'd made their way through a bottle of wine and Will ordered another. They fought over whose food tasted better and when they finally agreed on Will's, Mackenzie had begun moving the plates so they could share. It wasn't until a debate on whether Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet was better than Franco Zeferelli's came up that things started to become to passionate for a resturant.

- That is ridiculous Mac, Zeferelli's is a masterpiece, sure Baz is great but Zeferelli's was an original!

- You're such a purist Zeferelli's is good but Baz's overtook it. It has the perfect blend of modern interpretation while still retaining its created meaning and passion

- okay this is outrageous. We're going to mine right now to watch Zeferelli's and afterwards all you'll be eating are your words.

Will paid the cheque, he was always the gentleman, and bought another bottle of the great wine they'd been having. Then all but pushed Mac into a cab. They continued to argue the merits of each interpretation until they pulled up to Will's. The wine was definitely taking its effect, as when they left the cab will took hold of Mackenzie's hand and didn't let go. She stumbled into the elevator and Will reflexively grabbed her hip to steady her. When she stood upright she realised how close they were standing. She was inches from him, and the electricity in the air was indescribable. His hand was still on her hip and when she looked up at his eyes she saw a fire there she hadn't seen since she'd told him about Northwestern. The elevator chimed and he turned without a word to exit, but didnt let go of her hand.

She hasn't been in his apartment alone since the day she'd told him about Brian. It was only now she truly realized the differences. If you'd never been their you wouldn't see the change but to Mac, it was huge. Any signs this had once been her home were gone. Photos off the wall, the coffee table she'd bought without consulting him because she knew what he liked anyway, even the spot where they'd always left their shoes had changed. She walked around the couch and tried not to tel the shock show on her face. Will realised what she was thinking..

- I couldn't keep it. It's just, it just hurt too much. I'm sorry I didn't think of it tonight. I forgot you hadn't been her without company..

- his voice trailed off and the spark that had been in his eyes changed to one of almost guilt.

- No, no don't be silly. I understand really I do. The place looks good. It's always been such a beautiful apartment.

- it looks like a show home. There's nothing personal about it.

- At least you still have the sake couch. I've still never found a better one.

She said it as she sat down, her tiny frame engulfed by the large couch. Will waited a moment before she looked up at him with those huge eyes, full of self consciousness.

- Sit down old man. You promised me a movie.

- Mac. We've gotta talk.


	7. Chapter 7

AGAIN I don't own any of the Newsroom. two chapters in one night! Again, I must say this is my first ever story so please forgive it's 'rookiness' :P

Chapter 7

He sat down next to her, her eyes widening with concern.

- What's going on Will?

- Ive gotta tell you some things. Things I should have told you a long time ago.

Fuck this was hard he thought. He had so much he wanted to say but he was still afraid of rejection, it had nearly killed him when he thought she hadn't called him back. Without telling her, he was safe, he could still hope she would have said yes had she heard the message. If he told her and she said no... He bit down on that thought. If she was going to say no, she was going to say no. The hurt was already there, he just didnt know it yet..

- I miss you. And not in an I miss a friend way or I miss when Reese was still working in Atlanta way. In a bone deep, crushing kind of way. I miss you leaving wet towels on the floor. I miss having 30 different soaps in the bathroom. I miss the warmth against my chest where you always lay. I miss knowing that no matter what happens during the work day, that you'll be there afterwards, even telling me off for not listening to your instructions or yelling that I washed your dry clean only shirts with my socks. I miss you more than I can explain, it's cell deep Mac. It's like phantom limb without you. You're a part of me, you always will be. And I am just now down trying to deny that.

- Will I...

- No please let me get this out before I can't. The message I left you. The one after we reported Bin Laden. I always remembered it. I pretended I didn't because I was afraid. I didn't know you hadn't got it and I was terrified of that feeling of rejection. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped loving you. That's what it said. And it's true, god Mac, I've never stopped. You were right I tried to hate you and I tried to forget you. But you're a part of me. And I love you. That's, that's what I wanted to say.

She was speechless. Mackenzie was speechless. A woman who knew her way around words like nobody else and she was speechless. She stared at him as though she'd never seen him before, as though she thought at any moment he'd disappear.

- You, you said you love me? That's what the message said? That you never stopped loving me?

- yes, that's what I wanted to tell you then and what I wanted to tell you now. It's true. All of it. I tried to fight it and I tried to deny it, but I can't, you're undeniable Mac.

Faster than she thought she could move she was against him. Her lips found his and despite the shock in her sudden response it didn't take him long to react either. He pulled her closer to him so that their chests were pressed together. Her lips moved across his and within seconds they remembered everything about kissing the other. Her hands went to his hair and she ran her fingers through it. She sighed against him when his hands were raised to her cheeks.

- I love you Mac, I have since the first time I saw you.

- I know. I love you too.

He pushed her backwards and suddenly was on top of her. The weight of him was incredible and she realized her dreams had not done kissing him justice. He pressed his teeth into her lip and dragged across it, eliciting a moan from her which made him press harder against her. She rocked underneath him and slid her hands up the back of his shirt, finding the skin she so desperately wanted to touch. She always knew Will was a master kisser. She'd always wondered if it was him, or what they shared between them that made the fire that burnt whenever they touched. But as his lips moved down her neck she found herself not caring. She was kissing him. He was kissing her. The man she thought she'd never touch again, the man she would have once bet everything she owned and could borrow on the fact he'd never forgive her. She thrust against him and wrapped her legs behind his knees and the moan she heard in response sent shivers up her spine.

She knew this was crazy and intense and lightening speed. But she didn't care she didn't care they were on a couch after too much wine. She didn't care they should probably talk more and slow this down. Right now all she cared about was the man lying between her legs. She needed him and he needed her. She could feel him pressed against her leg and, emboldened by the wine, she moved her hands around to his belt and pushed it through the metal loop. He pulled away from her collarbone and looked her straight in the eye.

- Are you sure? I mean it's fast, we don't have to if you're..

- Will shut up. I've been dreaming about this for 5 years. Stop talking and just kiss me.

He didnt need to be told twice and sat up, his hands went to her blouse. Slowly he began unbuttoning it, catching a glimpse of a pale purple bra. The color of the lace against her pale skin, made him need all his self restraint from taking her right there.

- wait Mac, I think, I think we should move this to my bedroom. I really don't think my knee will handle this on the couch.

He hated feeling old. But before the feeling could take root, Mackenzie was pushing herself up and against him and kissing down his neck to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and she moved.

- can we shower first Will? Of at least me? I want to wash work and the day away. I want this so much I can barely hold myself back but can we please shower first?

He smiled, carefully detaching her from him before standing up.

- Of course, I know you love my shower.

He helped her stand up and kissed her again. She was surprised she hadn't passed out yet. She could feel her pulse everywhere, her heartbeat in her ears like a drum. She thought of his lips on hers, his chest against her bare one, of blood coursing through her body, of passion doing the same.

- I'll get towels and something for you to wear later. You just sit back.

He walked towards to linen closet and she had to sit back down again to stop herself falling. Will's phone buzzed on the coffee table.

-Will?

- Just ignore it. If its anyone important they'll call the landline. Don't worry.

He called from the hallway.

She remembered his shower, it was beautiful. Will had spared no expense in the remodel and the stone and pebbled shower was his master piece. You couldn't use it without feeling like you had stepped into a dream. She had her eyes closed but heard his feet pad across the room towards his bedroom. She couldn't believe what was happening. She'd been close to loosing hope this morning and now she was sitting on his couch, in a stage of undress, waiting to shower with the man she loved, who had confessed his love for her aswell. Will's phone buzzed again and after it stopped ringing the message tone beeped.

- God someone really wants to get in contact with me.

He walked back over to the couch and took her in his arms again, pulling her onto his lap. His hands went into her open blouse and he kissed along her collarbone.

- Ready for that shower?

- definitely I've been -

Her answer was cut off by another shrill beep on Will's phone.

- Oh for fucks sake leave me alone!

- just answer it or I will!

It buzzed again.

- fine fine just tell me if its something I should be worried about.

As Mac leant back to reach the phone that was sitting on the table behind them. Will went back to kissing her chest and running his hands along the skin of her back. He ventured down to the line of her bra, reveling in the small tremble he felt in response. Mac opened his phone without looking at the sender and read aloud.

- 'Will, New York People has photos and sources regarding us. Will most likely be released tomorrow. I've tried to call you 4 times. You need to call me back MacAvoy if we want any chance of killing this'

He froze, his lips against her bra. Will felt the woman on his lap tense as she registered the messages contents.

- I'm sorry that's not, I mean, that's personal I shouldn't be..

She handed the phone to him, but not before her eyes landed on the name. Nina Howard. Mac slid a leg to the ground and stepped up off Will, pain echoing in all her features.

- Mac stop just stop. It's nothing I, fuck, I was going to say something and then all I wanted to do was tell you I loved you. And I didn't think and, FUCK, Mac. Please just, just pause this.

- You're with Nina Howard?

Of all the punishments Will had handed down to Mackenzie, nothing had made her look more hurt than she did right now. She looked like she was dying, it was fast motion for Will. He could literally see the light in her eyes going out.

- No Mac, NO. I, I was seeing her, very briefly, after she killed the 'high on the air' story. It was stupid and I'm sorry, I just, I was still trying to prove something to myself. I'm sorry Mac. I love you.

- You slept with her after she killed the story?

Suddenly the two versions of the message made sense. Nina had stopped her receiving that message to begin with, then lied about its contents when she realized she wanted Will.

- Yes. I was still trying to convince myself I would be alright without you-

- I called Nina. The night she killed the story. I called her. I asked her what the message said. She said you'd told me I was 'spectacular'

So her use of the word the day before hasn't been a coincidence..

... - so what I know now is. That you didn't just sleep with anyone. You slept with the woman who stopped me from knowing how you felt months and months ago. Who then lied to me. And you didn't flaunt it in my face like you did the others, you hid it.

- Mac, I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would. You have to believe me. God Mac, I'm in love with you. And you love me, just, just stop for a minute and let that be the only thing that matters.

Mac pulled her arm from his grasp and wrapped her blouse closed. Will couldn't stop her from reaching for her bag. Her eyes met his again, so full of sadness Will knew he'd don't something irreparable. She walked towards the door in silence.

- Fuck Mac, just stop please please just stop I need you to -

Wills phone, still in his hand buzzed again. She didnt need to look to see who it was.

- You should answer it William. You need to sort something out regarding New York People. She needs you...And I don't.

And before Will could even speak, she was out the door.

OKAY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! it's not over yet :)


	8. Chapter 8

Again I don't own any of the Newsroom :) enjoy

chapter 8

Mackenzie walked into the New York night without a second glance at Will. She could barely see through the tears as she began running down Hudson st. Somewhere unconsciously she knew she had no reason to be so hurt. They weren't together, through no fault of Will's and he was free to see who he wanted. But despite that knowledge, every part of her stung, Nina was the one who stopped her hearing that potentially life changing message. She stopped and wiped her eyes. She could still feel his fingers against her skin, her breath on her neck, the fear in his eyes when she walked out. She hailed a taxi and threw herself in. For the second night in a row Mackenzie would cry herself to sleep over a man she could not stop loving but who could not forgive her.

Will was pacing again. Anger and frustration coursing through him. How the fuck had it slipped away so fast again? It had been like a dream. So perfect and then suddenly the rig was pulled from under him. Nina Howard had some sense of timing. It wasn't her fault, he knew that. He'd pursued her and she wasn't to know her was minutes away from taking Mac to bed when she messaged. He flipped his phone out and finally, replied.

- I don't mind Nina, if you want to kill it you can try. But I don't care anymore. Sorry.

- what about Mackenzie? Surely you don't want her knowing?

- She already does.

- I'm sorry Will. Actually, I'm not. For once go and sort yourself out. Fix whatever's broken and finally be happy. Being miserable doesn't make you special Will. It just makes you miserable..

He swore at his phone. He needed to fix this but he couldn't figure out how. But he'd been so close to having everything that wanted, felt her against him and he knew he could never go back to life without her again now.

Both Mac and Will had barely slept. Will had decided at 7am he'd head into work early again and try something, anything, to go back to what Mac and him were building last night. He stalked his way to her office but found it empty. He looked around the bullpen and couldn't see the brunette he loved anywhere.

- Jim! Have you seen Mac?

- Nope.

The young man responded in a way that was clearly not completely true, but look of loathing he was giving to Will stopped him from pressing him further. Jim loved Mackenzie like an older sister, and was never going to cave away from protecting her. And right now he was the enemy to her, and Jim wasn't going to help him.

He spun on his heels and headed towards the elevator, and up towards the only other man who may help him.

He didnt have to open his mouth to Charlie, there in the chair opposite him was Mac. Will could tell she'd barely slept, her eyes looked empty and sad. And despite the weakness of the word, that's all Will saw when he looked at her. How sad she was. Just sad, and Will swore to himself he'd never make Mackenzie MacHale look like that again.

- Will come in. You need to be here for this too.

- Can it wait Charlie? Mac, can we talk please?

She looked away from him and back to Charlie.

- Sit down Will. No, it can't wait. So besides the story of you and -

Charlie was cut off by the look in Mac's eyes.

- you and a certain gossip columnist. One I might add who wrote stories slamming you and your team. Stories that we denied for months! Now it's out that you dated her? Do to think News Night needs another shot to its credibility right now William?!

The man was getting fired up and Will considered telling him to take it easy. He wasn't the youngest man around.. But before he could, the man was standing up again and speaking

- Now up until now. I have not yelled. I have not yelled at you because you're like my son. And you were hurting. But now I am yelling. Now I am yelling very loudly! I want be able to go home and know this show isn't crumbling around us. I want to know two people I love like my children, can grow the fuck up enough to sort their shit out and be happy! I want you to stop fucking around William and grow up. Grow up and take responsibility or yourself and the woman you love and the show you lead. But you keep letting me down.

- Charlie, I -

- And now the most talented EP in television is telling me she wants to resign?! And after everything that's happened I don't blame her. No one can live like this anymore Will. Not you, not her, not me and not anyone downstairs.

Mac looked like she wanted a hole to open up beneath her and swallow her. She obviously hadn't intended this conversation to turn out like this. But Will was too shocked to recognise that.

- You're leaving? You're just going to bail on me? On this show I mean!

- No, I just think with Genoa and -

- Fuck Genoa!

Charlie was telling again. Will could tell by the look in his eyes he'd been pushed too far. He'd supported them through their personal messes but now he was at the point of no return.

- Fuck Genoa. Why the fuck wouldn't she leave? You've been punishing her for years, your show is in ruins and now when we finally thought you were getting your head together, it comes out you've been seeing the woman who has been trying to ruin everything you two built! Why the fuck should she stay with you!?

- Because I love her Charlie!

The older man was stunned into silence by the younger mans sudden movement to stand and the passion in his words.

- I love her and I'm not a man who says that's lightly, I am the guy who tried to hate her for years, tried to pretend I could live without her. I thought forgiveness was something only weak people let themselves feel. Because if you forgive you open yourself up being hurt again. But this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there has been many times that I've wanted to. It has been overwhelming and consuming and painful. But I will never stop loving her and trying to make up to her, all the hurt that I've caused. I am completely in love with her. More than she knows.

It was Charlie and Mac's turn to be silenced. Mac looked up at him, and he swore we saw a little life return to those brown eyes.

- Well fix this then!

And with that Charlie signed, glare at the two of them, and walked out. Leaving then alone in the older mans office.


End file.
